"St. Christopher lifted the child on to his shoulders, but he walked more slowly with every step, for his burden became heavier and heavier. When he arrived in midstream, he felt 'as if he carried the whole universe.' He realized then that he had taken Christ upon his shoulders - and Christ gave him remission of his sins and eternal life. This miraculous child is a symbol of the Self that literally 'depresses' the ordinary human being, even though it is the only thing that can redeem him." - Marie-Louis von Franz

In the day-world, separated from his wife, Aulden was convinced that he needed to learn to be comfortable living with himself, alone, before he entered another relationship. Although he believed that he should be comfortable by himself, he telephoned and emailed acquaintances with the frequency of a person in need of companionship.

In his meditation-life, Aulden was very near to finding his way out of his own head. He climbed into the back seat of Janice's aircraft. The plane took off across the short runway and Janice piloted it above the clouds into the darkness.

After having searched for months to find the way out, Aulden was finally on his way to the radio tower where he could leave this land inside his head and re-enter it whenever he wished. Rather than feeling excited, he was overcome by a feeling stronger than melancholy: a feeling of depression. He gazed out of the airplane window into the darkness. The thought struck him that he would be leaving without ever meeting the figure that The Wind spoke about, the one he called the True Self.

Feeling withdrawn and depressed, Aulden hardly noticed that he was no longer in the plane. He was walking alone on a dark city sidewalk. A face appeared in the sky above him - a feminine face - and Aulden stopped to watch as it came closer. He could see now that he was looking at a woman's face on a balloon, and she asked him, "What are you seeking?"

He said to the balloon, "The True Self." She floated away from him, and he ran after the balloon, but she said, "You can't hold me. You can only catch glimpses of me because I live where you can't go." She floated over the top of a brick building, leaving Aulden alone in a dark alley.

The angst of his alone-ness suddenly turned to fear as he found himself isolated between the rows of old brick apartment buildings. He could only try to gather courage by saying, "I'm alone, so I'm safe here."

Voices came from the buildings in whispers, "Safe? Safe from what?"

Aulden answered in a whisper, "Safe from others…"

The Voices rose, "He thinks he's alone."

"Who are you?" Aulden asked.

The Voices answered, "We're not here. You're alone."

Aulden continued his earlier sentence, "…and others are safe from me."

The Voices told him, "You're alone because you choose to be."

Aulden challenged them, "Come out so I can see you."

From a dark passage between two buildings a half-man and half-crab figure appeared. The sight disgusted Aulden and he said, "I'm not talking to a half-crab!"

When he said that, the thing transformed and said, "Then I'll be a whole crab!"

Aulden walked away, rejecting it. At the end of the alley he reached a sidewalk, and there in front of him the bus pulled up. The door opened and the Bus Driver asked, "Where are you going?"

Aulden, still depressed although relieved to find a familiar face, said, "Just take me home."

The bus went through the city and on to a different town, stopping at a beautifully landscaped park. At the side of the park opposite the bus, Aulden could see a large building. Was it a mansion or a castle? Aulden couldn't be sure, and he asked, "What is this place?"

The Bus Driver answered, "It's everything you wanted."

Aulden said before leaving the bus, "You seem to always know where to take me. You might be closer to being my True Self than anyone."

The response he received was, "I'm the Bus Driver." Then Aulden turned to the castle - or whatever the building was - and began his walk across the landscaped grounds. Partway there, he felt unsteady, dizzy, and he took a moment to meditate so that he could get his bearings.

The castle was closer and easier to identify now. It was an old hotel - one that Aulden once stayed at in the material world. This hotel existed, or co-existed in Longview, Washington, and in Aulden's imagination. An artist, Joe Knowles, painted murals decades ago on the walls of this hotel. Aulden entered the lobby. A clerk stood at a reception desk, and asked, "Could I help you?"

Was the clerk part of some paradoxical puzzle? Aulden didn't bother to play along. He'd given up on the game and simply said, "Sh… I want to stand and look." He'd reached a point where he only wanted to see, and hopefully understand.

The murals in this "co-existing" Longview hotel were different than the Joe Knowles murals that Aulden remembered. The paintings here were of roses. They were on all the walls, including the walls of the staircase. He called out to the second floor, "Anyone here?" and he thought again about the Bus Driver's words, "Everything you wanted."

At the top of the stairs a radio-controlled pickup truck raced along the floor. Rabbits were hopping around his feet. Then the oddest thing: a salmon swam through the air past Aulden's face. He was still watching the fish when the radio-controlled truck raced past him again and a boy about ten years old chased the truck. As he passed, the child said, "Hi Mister."

Aulden answered, "Hello, Sonny."

The boy, Sonny, responded, "Hey! That's my name!"

Aulden asked him, "Do you live here?"

"Sure do," answered Sonny.

Aulden, in a serious tone, said to the boy, "Listen - A man told me everything I wanted would be here."

Sonny didn't take time to respond. He ran down the hall and yelled, "Do you want to play? Follow me!"

He ran down the stairs, and Aulden reacted impulsively, chasing him past the rose-murals along the stairwell.

In the lobby, Sonny said, "I'm the first one down so I'm it… No, you're it… No, I'm… You're it!"

Aulden smiled, asking, "And I have to tag you?"

Sonny ran away, laughing, past the reception desk. Aulden chased him into a dining hall. They ran around the tables until Aulden stopped, and said, "Sonny?"

Sonny teased him, "You can't catch me!"

Aulden responded, "I'm not going to catch you, but I'll tag you!"

Sonny, amazingly, could leap impossible distances over entire tables. Aulden gave it a try and made the same leap. He tagged the boy, and Sonny shouted, "I let you! I let you!"

Aulden took advantage of his success, saying, "You're it! Now tell me something I need to know."

Sonny answered, "I'm gonna tag you."

Aulden insisted, "Tell me what you wish I would understand."

Sonny grinned, acting like he was going to talk, and he said, "Sit." But as Aulden pulled a chair out, Sonny tried to run around the table. Aulden was ready for this and ran away, while demanding, "Tell me what I should know!"

Sonny picked up a water glass and splashed with his fingertips at Aulden. While Sonny giggled, Aulden felt dizzy again, as if he was about to lose his "presence" and snap out of "the zone" - out of his meditation.

So that he could stay in the moment, Aulden stopped and recited, "Om namah Shivaya. Om namah Shivaya…"

Sonny was amused at this and he mimicked Aulden, chanting very, very quickly, "Om-namah-Shivaya-om-namah-Shivaya-om-namah-Shivaya." Then Sonny grinned and asked, "What are you gonna do now?"

A smile formed on Aulden's face, although he was entirely uncertain how to respond. Sonny picked up a pen and paper from a table, and he said, "This is you."

That seemed to be Sonny's answer to the question Aulden had been asking. Aulden wanted more, and responded, "Yes?"

At this point, a new element entered the picture. A little dog, friendly and energetic, came wagging its tail to Sonny.

The boy fell to his knees and hugged the dog, and spoke to it the way a child repeats a phrase, playing with the alliteration. He said, "Of course I'll be fine. Of course I'll be fine. Of course you'll be mine."

For no reason at all - or for reasons that he couldn't understand - Aulden had tears running down his face as he watched. The boy looked up at Aulden and asked, "Can I keep him?"

Aulden said to him, "I guess so. It's not my dog."

Aulden felt certain that this boy was an important figure, and he tried to think of what to ask next. He felt as if this boy could answer anything - solve any problem - and Aulden asked him, "What else can you tell me that I should know?"

Sonny responded, "You haven't taken in everything about what I said before yet."

Aulden thought back to Sonny's "This is you" comment. He turned it over in his mind and then tried to comment, "In the book Ego and Archetype, Edward Edinger wrote…"

Sonny interrupted, as if the alliteration was too fun to pass up, and fast as he could he shouted, "Edward Edinger Edward Edinger Edward Edinger."

Aulden was more confused than ever, but he still felt as if Sonny could tell him anything and everything. Aulden had been writing a book of poetry, and he had hopes of finding a publisher. Maybe Sonny knew - and Aulden tried to ask him if his book would be published. He began, "Will the poetry book I'm writing…"

Sonny interrupted, forcefully, "Don't ask that!"

This, again, threw Aulden off, and he stopped to meditate, folding his hands and bowing his head, to regain his balance. Sonny understood - just understood - and he said, "Go on, I'll wait for ya."

Aulden mentally regrouped, and inquired, "What kind of things should I ask you?"

Sonny replied, "How's the weather?" and then Sonny took a less playful tone, more like a mentor, "Come take a walk." He took hold of Aulden's hand and they went to the landscaped grounds outside.

Aulden questioned, "What do you have to tell me?"

Sonny answered enthusiastically, "There! Ask that!"

They stopped and Sonny looked at Aulden, "Keep still," he said, "There's a fly on your nose." He reached out and had no trouble taking hold of the fly with his thumb and index finger, and after he released it he giggled. Still smiling, he said to Aulden, "Keep working on what you're working on."

Aulden, lonely as he was, finally asked, "Sonny? Are you my True Self? Are you? I've been looking for you."

Sonny answered by taking Aulden's hand and saying, "Come here." He brought Aulden to a set of stairs leading down into the earth, and asked, "Do you know what's down there?"

The stairs looked mysterious to Aulden, and he replied, "No, what?"

Sonny answered, "More of the same. But I'm right here. You come and see me anytime."

Aulden gazed down that stairwell for a moment, and then he turned to Sonny, and said, "I'm supposed to be with someone in an airplane right now."

Sonny agreed, saying, "Go find Janice."

As fast as a blink, Aulden was in the airplane, surrounded by the roar of the engine. The radio tower, where Aulden would find his way out, was in sight - in the direction of the rising sun.

Aulden didn't use the telephone or email that morning after he returned to the day-world. He thought about playing tag with Sonny and he remembered that he'd already "tagged" his acquaintances with previous messages. He decided to wait for them to tag him back. He had a day off from work, and he enjoyed spending some time alone.